Iowa History

4-6-09 equality brain
Greg and I made a trip to northern Iowa, arriving Friday afternoon to visit my folks for the weekend. While watching TV that evening, we heard the NEWS at 10:00 PM. Marriage equality arrived in Iowa! This topic was on my radar, since I have been a member of the Gay, Lesbian, Straight Affirmation Group (GLSA group) at my church since it started about 10 years ago, but I have to admit, I still was a bit shocked at the news and the fact that this was a unanimous decision by the Iowa Supreme Court.

Iowa is an amazing state, just for the fact you never know what can happen here. The world might think we are a bunch of conservative farm folk, and that might be true up to a point, but Iowans are also forward thinking people who believe in equality and fairness.

Why is “marriage” important to gay couples?
Iowa law refers to “marriage” over 500 times and the federal government has listed more than 1,100 benefits it provides to legally married couples- such as: Medical decisions; retirement benefits; taxes; joint insurance policies for home, auto and health; Job benefits and health insurance… just to name a few. How can any US citizen be denied equal rights to those benefits?

I know…. Many people have trouble with the word “marriage”….. they say “equal rights- well maybe OK through Civil Unions…. But not marriage….. marriage is between and man and a women.... the Bible tells me so”. “Next thing you know Bruce will want to marry his cow”…….

OK, I understand how it is to get hung up on a WORD.

When Greg and I got married, I was having trouble getting my brain around the word “WIFE”…. I don’t like the word “wife”. I guess my view point was a wife had to do all the house work. I saw my Mom do all the work to take care of the kids and the house…. Then when I was age 12, she was "liberated" and went to work at the school library….. so now she had TWO jobs…. That didn’t look very liberating to me. On Saturday morning she cleaned and went to the grocery store…… while my Dad got to go out for coffee….. that didn’t seem fair to me….. so I grew up not wanting to be a “wife”.

Greg was sensitive to my uneasiness, and he began to call me his “partner”…. And this made me feel better. I didn’t have a clue on how to be a “good wife”….. but I could understand how to be a “good partner”… and this made me feel equal to him in our relationship. We BOTH go out for coffee Saturday mornings!

I know this was just my problem with a word definition, so I can empathize with those who have a problem with the definition of “marriage”. My reply to that is…. There still can be a distinction between a legal civil marriage and a church/God-union marriage. Churches don’t have to agree to marry gay couples unless they choose.

I think marriage is already a word that has many different nuances. For example there already are such a wide variety of marriages out there in the world: marriage of convenience, married in name only, loveless marriage, open marriage, commuter marriage, sex-less marriage, traditional marriage, May to December marriage, married for money, loving marriage, on again off again marriage, second marriage, third marriage….etc….. you get the picture. Don’t you think we can expand the definition of marriage just a bit more to include “gay marriage” into this evolving culture of ours?...... (remember not that long ago women and black people were thought of as just property with no rights to own land or vote, and Bible scripture supported that too!)

Lastly, a special shout out to my church friend *Ted who’s passion for gay rights is inspirational. I chuckle every time I remember when I made Ted’s jaw drop…. I told him I was a bi-sexual……. Huh? …… “Yes”, I explained, “I love both straight and gay men!”..... Ted got a kick out of that for sure.

A shout to Pastor Kimby for teaching us another way to view the Bible..... and
Also a shout out to my friends David and James who reminded me of the Iowa state motto this weekend in an email…..
OUR LIBERTIES WE PRIZE AND OUR RIGHTS WE WILL MAINTAIN.

That says it all! But if you want to read more- check out this…..

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090403/NEWS/90403010



*Ted is (church going, spiritual, humorous, generous, straight guy, with a lesbian daughter, who happens to be a Republican)