Happy in LOVE!

2-14-09 Happy in love brain


I married the most "wonderful man" in the world, and I said so during my wedding vows, which threw the minister off for few moments and everyone had a good chuckle. Don't get me wrong, Greg's not perfect, but he is perfect for ME!


Today is Valentines Day and Greg is in Chicago going to a car show with his best friend Tom. They do this almost every year, but usually they go to the Detroit car show in January but this year the Chicago show worked better for them.

Do I feel sad being away from Greg on Valentines Day? No, I'm fine. Greg's happiness is important to me, as my happiness is important to him and thus we make sacrifices for each other when life requires this.... AND that does remind me of what the letter O in my LOVE essay stood for (see yesterday's posting)....... The letter O in LOVE stands for "others".... Love is when the other person's needs and happiness are as important as your own.

PS: This picture is from 2007 when Greg sacrificed for me and took me to a Valentines Dinner and Dance! We both ended up having fun.

Unlucky in love?

2-13-09 Friday the 13th brain

At age 17, I considered myself an expert on Love. I was hopelessly and deeply in love with my first love, high school boyfriend-Bruce. I was so confident that I understood the ways of love, that during my senior year, I entered an essay contest sponsored by the Women's Club- the topic was LOVE, the prize was $100.


I thought long and hard about what to write, and although "English" was not my best subject in school, I relied on my creativity. My approach was to pick a word starting with each letter of the word love (L, O, V, E) and used this to address different qualities of love. I think I still have a copy of that essay around somewhere. Probably in my antique trunk where the TV sits in the sunroom, so I can't reference it at this time. I'm having trouble remembering all the words I used for the letters L and O...... I do remember V = "variety" and I discussed the different types of love....... And I also remember E = "ego" dealing with the importance of self-love.


AND surprising I won top prize! With the $100 I was able to buy my first 10 speed bike (pictured in posting from 2-6-09)......... Well, about 7 months after winning this essay contest, and 2.5 years into the relationship, my first love broke my heart (on a Friday the 13th in December 1974). Sadly it took several years for me to recover, but time eventually healed my wounds. But I often wonder if you can ever totally forget losing someone special? Once you've truly loved someone, I think they are forever yours.

What's on the menu?

2-12-09 Left brain at work

I was in Iowa City last week giving a four hour presentation to students in the College of Public Health Masters Program. My lecture was part of an internship giving these students an opportunity to learn about the State Health Registry and how we go about collecting data on Iowa Residents with cancer.

We only had four students this semester; so it was a causal group to work with. There were two non-traditional students, one male, one female. I guess that’s what they call older people who are back in school for an advanced degree. Then there was two typical younger kids in their 20’s, one male, one female. The younger male, Ron, was so cute! I was wishing I was 30 years younger, but the reality is I am old enough to be his mother. But I couldn’t help but find myself wanting to look over in his direction all the time as I talked. What nice brown eyes and cute smile.

I had to laugh at myself. This reminded me of the time Greg and I were spending time with my niece Sarah one summer at least 7 years ago. She was in middle school and starting to have an interest in guys. The three of us were walking somewhere and I spotted what I considered a good looking guy. So I pointed this out to her. “Look at that guy Sarah, isn’t he cute?” Sarah replied, “Aunt Judy you shouldn’t be looking at guys, you’re married!”…… And not missing a beat in the conversation, Greg pipes up, “Just because you’ve placed your order, it doesn’t mean you can’t look at the menu.”

Well that had both Sarah and I laughing. Neither of us had ever heard that saying before and it was funny coming out of Greg. And that’s one of the things I love about Greg- I never know when he will surprise me with something new!

Well, I have to admit I don’t often find myself looking at the menu much these days, but maybe again it was my new eyes being able to see so much better from across the room! Oh dear…. I hope these new eye’s aren’t wandering eyes! ….. but then again, no harm looking at the menu especially since I’m very satisfied with the menu item I ordered 16 years ago.

Loving what is

2-11-09 surrendering brain

I've come across an interesting book a few months ago: "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie.

This book deals with the power that our THOUGHTS have over us. Quote: "we are disturbed not by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens"......... "When we believe our thoughts instead of what is really true for us, we experience the kinds of emotional distress that we call suffering".

The section of the book I love the most is called- Staying in Your Own Business. The author explains..... "there are only three kinds of business in the universe; mine, your, and God's. Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our own business".

The author says if you are worried about war, floods or earthquakes or when you will die, then you are in God's business. If you are in other's business you are trying to tell others what is best for their life, and that's pure arrogance to think you know what is best for another person.

Give this challenge a try: the next time you are feeling stressed, ask yourself whose business are you in mentally? Chances will be that you are not in your own business.

I come from a long line of "worriers".... my Grandmother on my father's side seemed to worry about everything (that's my memory anyway).... she especially worried about storms and lightening (God's business).... however I was told she and my father had a close call with a ball of lightening coming through their window once. My Aunt JoAnne also seemed to be a worrier like her mother, and I can see this same trait now in my sister.

I have to admit from time to time I can tend to get myself in God's business as well. One of my favorite Bible verses as a child was Matthew 6: 25 "Do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink, nor about your body, what you shall put on......Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your Creator feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?"

I think during this time of "economic uncertainty"....... remembering to stay out of God's business will be a good habit to practice!

Just let it go!

2-10-09 de-cluttering brain

Sunday, slowly the cleaning project began.
It started with a desk drawer. Here I found a treasure of address labels, "gifts" from various charities hoping for a donation. This picture doesn’t capture the depth of the 3 inch pile I had to shred.

For a moment, my right artist brain wanted to keep these as a possible future interesting art project. I know Alice, another creative spirit, will relate to this impulse to save. As I began to shred the pile, I then had the thought that I should at least have taken one label from each set and stuck on a blank piece of paper. Perhaps this would make an interesting piece of art? Then the voice of my mother came to me and said, “just let it go”….. so I did. But then of course I had to stop my cleaning for a moment to blog about this experience...... until Greg called me back to work on yet another drawer. At this rate, this house cleaning project may take awhile!

PS: My nephew Christopher is arriving today to stay with me for several weeks and to help clean and paint. He has some time on his hands until entering graduate school in the fall. Greg has a big project for Christopher in the basement. Maybe this 24 year old kid can get me motivated and focused in the evenings to accomplish more than just blogging my time away. That is what we both are hoping for! So perhaps I may just be blogging every OTHER day?

Acceptance

2-9-09 artistic right brain

Still on the Surrender topic from last week......Today I will share with you some more of my early art. This is from my collection of "Storytelling Art" done around 1998, during my "hand phase". I would paint and write a story or poem to go with my drawings.

“Acceptance”
(Inspired by, and dedicated to Pam)

I’M LEARNING, VERY SLOWLY, TO HOLD MY HANDS OUT AND TO ACCEPT WHAT THE UNIVERSE HAS TO OFFER ME.

This has not been an easy lesson for me, especially regarding my health.
In the last 10 years it seems as if I’ve been prone to illness, starting with the diagnosis of chronic fatigue in 1990. “The Yuppie Flu” the media was calling it at the time. Doctors had comments like: “You’re working too hard”, “You must be stressed”, “You just need a vacation”, “Are you depressed?” Well, I discovered most of that was probably true, as I then was given the time to reevaluate my life’s situation while lying in bed for a month, back home under my parent’s care.

I suppose I’m luckier than most people with a chronic disease; I didn’t loose my job, I had good health insurance, I had caring people to help and support me AND I learned that I was able to find spiritual growth from this experience. I discovered that an illness might actually be a GIFT.

Oh, I realize it’s not always easy to look at being sick that way. I usually get so frustrated each time I suffer from yet another period of fatigue. Yet, consistently, I’ve noticed over the past several years, that each time I’m laying in bed recuperating, some lesson or wisdom about life is given to me. Sometimes I think good health is a consolation prize given to those souls who aren’t ready to experience spiritual growth. However, I’ve been told by a reliable source (my pastor Sam) that you don’t always need hardship to grow. Unfortunately, that hasn’t been my experience so far.

I’ve discussed this idea with my friend Pam, who also struggles with her health at times. Pam was born a premature twin back in the late 1950’s without the advantage of today’s technology (her twin sister didn’t make it). Pam suffers some left sided paralysis and eyesight problems. She has talked about the time when someone actually told her she could be healed if she had enough faith. I giggled at the irony of that statement, since Pam is one of the most faithful and devoted Christians that I know. Pam and I both agreed that our “illness” has helped us become stronger, wiser, and more faithful.

ACCEPTANCE AND SURRENDERING CONTROL TO A HIGHER POWER ARE VALUABLE LESSONS FROM A CHRONIC ILLNESS- for which I am grateful.

2 Corinthians 4: 16-18
Philippians 4: 11-13

Can you see what I see?

2-8-09 Sabbatical brain
Keeping it short today.
People are asking how my eyes are doing since my surgery a few weeks ago. Other people are asking me to share more of my artwork on my blog. So today I’ll shoot for two birds with one stone. Also note I posted a slide show of some artwork on the right side panel.

My eyes are doing very well! I drove to Iowa City for work this last week and it was incredible what I could see. I swear I could see for at least 5 miles into the horizon and the Iowa fields with snow drifts where so beautiful. So much so I found myself being distracted often from keeping my eyes on the road ahead of me. At one point I tested to see how far I could see ahead by spotting an overpass bridge down the Interest and by looking at the mile marks as I passed them, that bridge was 3 miles up the road when I had spotted it. I think I have never seen distant this well before in my entire life. I probably needed glasses at birth, but didn’t get them until 4th or 5th grade. Of course there is a trade off in the fact that I now have to wear reading glasses to see objects that are close up. Over the last few years, I was getting to that point anyway, and I was in need of bifocals. So I believe I’m happy with the results of at least having improved my distant vision. No more thick lens.

PS: This picture above was a pastel painting I did about 10 years ago, it was my first experience painting snow- I call it “Purple Drifts”.