8-10-10 numb brain, looking for the beauty
My “split in two” life is proving to be a challenge for me this year. I feel like I am being put through some type of endurance, strengthening exercises. I have always frowned when people say “what doesn’t kill you, will make you stronger”…. Not words that give much comfort to me….. First it was the crazy snow and ice of winter….. now rain!
If I don’t post for a day or two this will explain why.
Me in my PJ's, soaked to the bone, about 3:00 AM, outside the back door... not a pretty sight. I’m physically exhausted.
Sunday night I went to bed at 10:15 PM even thought it was starting to storm. I did manage to sleep, although hearing much thunder which seems endless. Finally a real close clap of thunder got me out of bed about 1:00 AM for a bathroom visit.
I decided to check outside. There I saw rain waters approaching the back door.
I could hear water running in the basement drain. Walking to the basement I saw the usual trickles we get from time to time, had turned more into a river. Thank goodness the drain was working properly, thus there was no standing water, just streams towards the drain like I had not seen since 1993 floods.
I grabbed the squeegee and started pushing water. Once the rain let up a little I had to tend to outside. I tried pushing the water away from the back door, and I could see our French drain in the backyard was full and over flowing…. So I did some bailing of that water out into the grass, and tried pushing the water over down the drive way. I’ve seen Greg have to do this one time before, during our 17 years in this house.
So finally I got back to sleep about 5:00 AM, only to get up at 7:00 AM. There was nearly 5 inches in the rain gauge. I didn't get much work done Monday, and used some vacation time up, but luckily no urgent deadlines this week.
After this experience I have been asking myself (and God) if I can handle keeping up this house mostly by myself. I was feeling like it was time to turn the page and start a new chapter of my life by a full-time move to KC.
I’ve been praying about this non-stop since Sunday night…. All I get is the word “stay” forming in my mind each time I plead for a clear answer. Of course I don’t understand this. This doesn’t seem like the logic choice to me….. But with the experience of 54 years of living, I have learned that intuition and listening to your gut… listening for “the spirit”, has paid off when I have least expected it. Answers often become clear later on if I just stay connected to the God’s whisper in my ear. I guess you can call it faith…. And faith strengthening experiences will be a good thing in the long run.
PS: Happy Birthday, Jean Ann.... my best friend from high school.... your card is in the mail :)